Downsizing

Staples thwip into the cubicle wall beside his head, bisecting a Dilbert comic.  He shoulder rolls to the next desk over, and checks to see if Runion left a letter opener in his drawer.

“Jacobs, Jacobs,” jeers Simonson.  There’s a metallic hiss and a clack as he reloads.  Jacobs pockets Runion’s three-hole punch.  “You know how this goes.  You saw the numbers.  It was a bad quarter.  Downsizing’s inevitable.”

Jacobs doesn’t say anything, just listens.  There’s a footfall, a breath, and he jumps into Runion’s chair, rolls backwards, throwing paper clips.

Simonson bounds over the wall, twin Dengisches blazing.

2 Responses to “Downsizing”

  1. I love life-and-death-among-the-cubicles stories. Is a Dengisch a stapler? If so I want one.

  2. “Dengisch” is, in Simonson and Jacobs world, a stapler manufacturer. I couldn’t think of an actual stapler brand name, and a google got me the (possibly Chinese?) company Dard Designch, but I don’t know how to pronounce that second word and it’s too many words anyway, so Dengisch was born.

    I imagine them as a Scandinavian concern, with a line of combat-ready office supplies.

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