Archive for the Larry and the Snake Category

Narniwho?

Posted in Larry and the Snake on December 22, 2008 by jeereg

Larry takes the snake home and puts it in his wardrobe, which he has shoved into the corner of his cupboard under the stairs.  His aunt screeches at him to sweep the kitchen floor before his cousin and uncle get home.

“Hey,” says the snake.  “You want me to go out there and bite her?  I’m hella poisonous.”

Larry thinks about it.  “No,” he sighs.  “I’d get blamed.  Just let me know if you find a secret passage in that wardrobe into a frozen wonderland, with talking beavers and a fawn.”

The snakes shakes its head.  “You have problems kid.”

Parselwhat?

Posted in Larry and the Snake on December 18, 2008 by jeereg

“Hi,” says the snake, and Larry couldn’t be more delighted.

“Ohmygod,” he squeals, pressing himself against the glass.  “I knew it.  You’re a snake, right?  Like a real snake.”

“Yeah,” it hisses.  “Listen, could you find me a mouse or some-”

“‘Cause this means, like… I’ve had this scar my whole life, and my aunt and uncle are terrible, and I’ve got this stupid cousin.  See?” He brushes his blackish hair back to reveal a sort of S-shaped thing.  “And now you’re a snake and you’re talking to me.  So I’m a wizard.”

“What are you, retarded?” asks the snake.